Saint Patrick’s Day is Awful, But Green isn’t Always So Bad
Rowdy out-of-towners, crushed beer cans/broken glass bottle shards filling the streets, and more rancid green-themed products than you’ve ever seen… that’s right, it’s Saint Patrick’s Day. But just because it’s the worst 24-hours in the moral realm that doesn’t mean you have to dress like it. Here are eight runway outfits that have embraced green to help you survive the crazy, mean cousin of all of the national holidays. Good luck and we’ll see you on the other side.
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RAF SIMONS AW14: If you thought you had your fill of Raf Simons after his most recent Fred Perry collab release, you're wrong. Dead wrong. For Autumn/Winter 2014, our main man teamed up with LA artist Sterling Ruby on a rebellious collection of organized chaos, but who has time to wait that long? This patchwork sweater might have its share of similarities to an ikea rug, but what else would you want to pass out in after a heavy day of Irish ballads and pub crawls? -
VIVIENNE WESTWOOD SS13: Although Westwood's Monet-inspired show for last Spring was styled with earth-made crowns wrapped delicately across her models' foreheads, it was this toned down botanist meets English-country-side-vacationer that has us oozing for grass stains, just be careful with the Guinness. -
JEAN PAUL GAULTIER AW12 : If you must do camo, then try it with a side of camp! The only issue with this chunky cake of couture might be trying to de-layer when you have to urinate for the 120th time of the day. What a great holiday!
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ALAN TAYLOR AW14: Here's a tip, avoid any St. Patty's pinches for not wearing green, and keep it simple with a subtle (but not really) accessory like these Alan Taylor metallic forest green gloves. They're as easy to slip on as they are to hurriedly rip off in embarrassment—you know, for when after the beer runs out.
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LANVIN SS14: Okay maybe it's cheating, but this teal—technically mixed green and and light blue—leather jacket over jogging-styled trousers is a great way to keep the holiday alive when you're stuck in the office and not at the parade today (like a person in the normal world).
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HAIDER ACKERMANN SS14: An imaginative take on a traditional Irish vest, you would definitely wear this to the pub...if the pub was the site of a gay Hugh Hefner dress up competition. Huzzah!
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MUGLER AW13: If you're worried you might not get the public reaction that is usually associated with St. Patrick's Day—people staring, little children confused—then this sci-fi, neon and black body suit will certainly do the trick. And hey, you can do a few rounds of Isabella Rossellini-porno after!
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JEREMY SCOTT SS12: Because if you start the day out with your genitals exposed then it will certainly spare you the confusion of looking for your pants the morning after. Also, we all know the only regional costume sexier than that of a leprechaun's—other than everything else in the history of clothes—is a cowboy's.
VIVIENNE WESTWOOD SS13: Although Westwood's 
JEAN PAUL GAULTIER AW12 : If you must do camo, then try it with a side of camp! The only issue with this chunky cake of couture might be trying to de-layer when you have to urinate for the 120th time of the day. What a great holiday! 
ALAN TAYLOR AW14: Here's a tip, avoid any St. Patty's pinches for not wearing green, and keep it simple with a subtle (but not really) accessory like these Alan Taylor metallic forest green gloves. They're as easy to slip on as they are to hurriedly rip off in embarrassment—you know, for when after the beer runs out.
LANVIN SS14: Okay maybe it's cheating, but this teal—technically mixed green and and light blue—leather jacket over jogging-styled trousers is a great way to keep the holiday alive when you're stuck in the office and not at the parade today (like a person in the normal world). 
HAIDER ACKERMANN SS14: An imaginative take on a traditional Irish vest, you would definitely wear this to the pub...if the pub was the site of a gay Hugh Hefner dress up competition. Huzzah! 
MUGLER AW13: If you're worried you might not get the public reaction that is usually associated with St. Patrick's Day—people staring, little children confused—then this sci-fi, neon and black body suit will certainly do the trick. And hey, you can do a few rounds of 
JEREMY SCOTT SS12: Because if you start the day out with your genitals exposed then it will certainly spare you the confusion of looking for your pants the morning after. Also, we all know the only regional costume sexier than that of a leprechaun's—other than everything else in the history of clothes—is a cowboy's. Images courtesy of AdAge and Style.com.
